Padfoot and Prongs
by Sarah L. Padfoot
Summary: A collection of letters that Messrs Padfoot and Prongs wrote and received during their fifth year at Hogwarts. Written mainly for my own amusement, but I would love to know what you think!
1. I will not tell lies!

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's Notes:** This is basically a collection of letters from Sirius and James fifth year. I came up with it after one of my friends sent me a letter for no particular reason what-so-ever. I'd really love to know what you think because I'm still really unsure about it. There is *no* hinting of slash in this fic, it is simply letters between two best friends ~Sarah. 

**Disclaimer:** All recognisable characters and places from the Harry Potter series belong to their respective owners. I am not gaining anything from writing this but my own amusement. 

  
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_Wikepin's cold and revolting dungeon  
2nd September, 1977, 11:54pm _

  


  
To my dear and true friend Mister Prongs, 

I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not.... keep wasting parchment.... 

As the moon slowly reaches its peak, and I find myself sitting in the same room as our "beloved" potions professor writing out the lines of a liar, I wonder why my most loyal and best friend is missing from this scenario. 

You pitiful double-crossing prat! 

Need I remind you that the escapade that I am currently being punished for was neither a product of my wonderful ideas, nor my brilliant mind, but instead was assumably your great idea. So why, may you ask, am I sitting in the cold and gloomy dungeon abandoned and miserable, while you are snugly dreaming of a certain redhead? 

Because this certain redhead, your one and only true love, decided that I had to be the master mind behind the foolery that occurred earlier this evening. 

I am sure that a mutual friend of ours, a one Mr Moony, would have explained the unfair, while not-so-unpredictable circumstances that brought me to my present situation, but I wish to tell you the sequence of events myself, so that perhaps you might find some reason to get me out of here, or at least explain to me why when I attempted to call you through this interesting reflection showing item, your mother answered telling me that I should be in bed by now. 

I find it most annoying that the green eyed angel (from below) believes that because she has a certain letter 'P' on pinned to her robes she is the Queen of the common room. And it pains me to see that you are so blinded by a feeling that you call love, (while others agree would be better known as obsession) that you seemed to have over looked this slight fault in the goddess, most commonly known as Lily Evans. 

And while what's left of the glimmer of hope that still shines as brightly as Sirius does in the night sky, I do have to consider the possibility that you have looked over the fact that Miss Evans welcomed our disgusting potions professor, Wickepin, and a certain slimy haired git into our common room with open arms as soon as she heard that I was suspected for the foolery that took place earlier this evening. 

Of course I knew nothing of the Marauders latest attack that turned a Malfoy, and the slimy haired git into fluffy pink bunny rabbits as I was in detention with our "lovable" head of house when the prank was played. 

Now while I would have liked to be able to claim that such handy work was my own, I did not want to waste any more useful pranking hours writing lines, which is probably the most boring form of punishment ever invented. So I denied everything, and the result: 

I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell LIES!! 

Only one remotely good thing has happened since I was brought down here three hours ago. About five minutes ago a huge black bird - it may have once been an owl - flew in calling Wikepin away. So now while I am sitting here writing out my lines, with the company of none but the ugly black bird, whom by the way only agreed to take this letter to you after I said he could peck you until you get up and reply, I was able to get some satisfaction out of waking you from peaceful sleep. 

Most sincerely wishing you were here. 

  
Mr Padfoot. 


	2. hedgehogs and pillows

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Authors Notes:** Heres the next chapter, thankyou to everyone who reviewed you guys are the best! I hope you like it... 

  
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_McGonagall's old and boring office.  
3rd September 1977 12:07am _

  


  
My dearest Mister Padfoot, 

Please do not tell me in your essay that you need a wand to turn a hedgehog into a pillow and then back again, it is a most obvious statement for should you try it without a wand, you will turn yourself into a pillow - unless your Dumbledore, then by all means go ahead.... 

Isn't it interesting that we have not only been separated but neither of us have been told that we are both currently being punished for the same crime, by different teachers. I must register my astonishment at our "loving and caring" professors that have most cleverly attempted (nearly succeeding) to conceal that piece of information for it must have been for our own good! 

As for acknowledging that you took no part into this evenings foolery, I will only do so, should you register my own innocence. Now while I too would love to be the one whom came up with this most humorous and brilliant idea, I cannot claim such glory for myself. I too held the belief that my most humble partner in crime had double-crossed me. So now that my suspicions are proved incorrect I must say I am completely baffled to whom played the cruel (to bunny's everywhere) joke onto Mr Severus Snape and Mr Lucius Malfoy. 

Could it be that we have a disciple who holds us in the highest honor, for taking the blame. Or has the slimy git just always wanted to be a rabbit and used us as an excuse to satisfy his most secret desires. Either way it is not a mystery that is likely to be solved while we sit here silently unless you have some proof that Severus's dream of being a pink bunny rabbit is not far off the truth (which wouldn't come as a great surprise). 

So while you keep trying to convince the paper that you will not tell lies I find myself stuck marking second and third year transfiguration papers which only shows that they really don't have a clue on what their talking about, so put it this way - if you want to trade places, let me know asap. 

McGongall too was called away a few minutes ago and it wouldn't surprise me if it had something to do with this sweet little dark-lord who is gallivanting around the country doing as he pleases - much to my jealously. 

Although unlike you I was not lucky enough to have this, what I agree might have once been an owl, just sitting around. He (or She) was very much disappointed when it found that I was awake and very willing to reply to your letter, only able to get one peck in before I picked up a quill. But never fear, I am making it up to him by sending him back with the same curtesy that you gave me. 

About the shiny reflection-showing piece of glass that my mother most conveniently has, I owe you and myself an apology, I have most obviously left it at home. 

Yours (not so) truly, 

  
Mr Prongs 


	3. this really is a waste of time

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's Notes:** Well heres the third chapter, *hugs* to everyone who reviewed so far. You guys are the best! I still would love to know what everyone thinks of the fic. I'm basically only writing it to amuse myself while I try and get over the writers block that is plaguing me over my other fics. Anyway I hope you enjoy. 

  
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_Dumbledore's strange yet wonderful Office.   
3rd September 1977. 12:37pm _

  


  
To Mister Prongs, 

I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies. I will not tell lies, this really is a waste of time... 

Greetings and salutations, and my most humblest apologies for jumping to conclusions. If you haven't noticed I have been moved to a warmer and more interesting position than Wikepins dungeon after someone remembered that I was still writing lines (funny how Wikepin conveniently forgot before heading off to bed) anyway rest assured you will be joining me soon enough and together we can deny to the fair and noble headmaster that we took no part in tonight's events. 

Now regarding our two resident pink bunny rabbits, and the events leading up to our present situations. While I would like to be able to say that I knew all along that Snape has dreamt about becoming a bunny since his childhood... since recieving your wonderful letter I have become very aware of whom was tonight's culprit. Though I can already tell you that you are not going to be happy - that is if you believe your dear old friend - about the suspect. 

I really cannot believe I was so blind. You'd think that after seeing Mr. Wormtail give away so many pranks I'd be well trained in figuring out who was hiding such secrets. But nevertheless I too have made your mistake but you may not hold it against me because I had good reason. 

So you want to know who pulled last nights prank? Well think of the person least likely to have committed the act (apart from the teachers). Did not little green eyes float into your head then? Well if she didn't she should have because there is none other in Hogwarts who didn't like the fact that you spend your days torturing Snape and Malfoy (didn't you hear? Shes started a 'Save the Slytherins' group whom are rallying for the Marauders acception of the Slytherins as human beings) 

Now before you write a ridiculous letter back saying that the little scra- erm- 'angel' would never ever do that, you have to at least hear out what I have to say. 

While I am still thinking of a way to punish myself for not listening to my subconscious tell me that Lily Evans had looked a little edgy earlier in the evening, and how she had seemed, just a tad, overeager as she dragged the Potions Master and the ex- pink rabbit over to where I was silently doing my Herbology assignment. Though my subconscious doesn't make an argument. 

This on the other hand does. Is there anyone else in the school, apart from you, myself or a certain wolf (who would not commit an act without you or I) that has the ability to turn a fellow student into a bunny? 

And if that isn't enough for you - I saw her read the spell! - now don't jump on the fact that I was talking to your one true love without you protecting her from my irresistible charm (must I remind you once again that I already have a beautiful and wonderful girlfriend) because that is not the point, the point is that I **know** she was the guilty in that particular act. 

What you want to do and say from here is your call, I suppose, though I do think I'd find an incredible amount of amusement from holding that fact against her, especially after all those lectures that we had the glorious pleasure of listening to. 

I'm not sure this will reach you before Dumbledore does, but the bird - that may of once an owl - still seems content with the deal we have going. I do (only slightly) hope you have not fallen asleep, 

awaiting your arrival, 

  
Mr Padfoot. 


	4. on behalf of all pink bunny rabbits

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's Notes:** Thankyou everyone who reviewed this fic!! I'm really glad to see that it amuses other people as much as it does for me to write it! For all those waiting for Prongs opinion - thats coming next letter, Sirius is writing this without James permission - which can only lead to trouble ;) Well heres the next letter, I hope you enjoy it :) Please read and review! 

  
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_The Gryffindor boys dormitory.   
3rd September, 1977, 0800 hours _

  


  
Dear Miss Lily Evans, 

I am writing to you concerning your whereabouts on the evening of August 2nd 1977, for we have reason to believe you may be responsible for the events leading up to the changing of Misters Malfoy and Snape into pink bunny rabbits. 

As this has been confirmed by a witness, a one Sirius Black who saw you earlier reading up on the spell that was subtitled 'How to turn your enemy into a rabbit'. We are awaiting your plead in this case until which it will be postponed. 

Futhermore the I will be acting as the attourney on behalf of all pink bunny rabbits whom are sueing you for the unbelieveable humilation that you have put them through after turning two Slytherins into their "cute" and "cuddly" forms. The bunny's claim that you have not required their permission to perform such a task and as a result the rabbits want a years supply of carrots in reparations for the insults they have had put to their name. 

We will be expecting a statement and a plead within the mail during the next few days. Please do not delay because the judge, the fair and humble Mr R. Moony is a busy man and has his off nights. 

On a lighter note the most noble and brilliant Marauders would like to congradulate you on pulling off and getting away with such a excellent piece of pranking, but they would like to add their warning that should you continue to place the blame on them they may be tempted to take action. 

Finally, the reknown attourney Mr J. Prongs has most graciously offered to be your defence council should you need one. 

Thankyou for your time. 

  
Mr S. Padfoot. 


	5. what have you done now?

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's Notes:** Ladi da... Thank you to all my wonderful reviewers, it's good to see that I'm not the only one to see the humour in these letters... although I do have a twisted sense of humour... ahem, anyway heres the next letter. 

  
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_The Great Hall.   
4th September 1977, 6:45am _

  


  
Padfoot, 

You insufferable pain-in-the-arse, what in the name of Merlin have you done now. 

I swear on the legacy of the Marauders if you are behind the strange (yet slightly wonderful) occurrences of today, I am going to pound you. So here it is, nice and simple, no hidden meanings, or cryptic messages... **WHAT** have you said to Evans?!? 

Perhaps I should explain to you my reasoning behind asking you such a question. Its quite simple actually, Lily Evans. spent. the. entire. day. being. **nice**. to. **me**. 

Now Padfoot, I am asking nicely, why, pray-tell, was Lily Evans **nice** to me, James Harold Potter? And why do I get the terrible feeling that it has something to do with you and your bloody letters. 

Now for once in your life, please refrain from being the smart ass you are, I am well aware this turn of events is a miracle to say the least and I do not need it to be written in your untidy scrawl. Instead please explain this new development and the motives that lie behind it. 

Oh Padfoot, how you could do this to me! I did not need my ego to be further crushed by the emerald eyed goddess and I fear this will be my undoing. 

And Padfoot, I beg forgiveness in advance, because I'm afraid I am going to have to hurt you. 

You heartbroken friend 

  
Prongs. 

P.S. WHERE ARE YOU! 


	6. innocent till proven guilty

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's Notes:** Thankyou to everyone who reviewed!! Sorry it took a while, I've had heaps to do at school *sigh* anyway enjoy. 

  
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_The Gryffindor Boys Dormitories,   
4th September 1977, 7:21am _

  


  
Dear, dear, dear, dear Prongs, 

Whatever happened to being innocent till proven guilty? That is, after all, the first thing that you say to the Professors when they drag us out of the common room accusing us of one prank or another, so when did you become the annoying hypocritical git that you are being this morning. 

Concerning my whereabouts, like every other sane person in this school, I am still in the Gryffindor Boys Dormitories, and until a few moments ago, I was in a deep slumber dreaming about the beautiful women that fill this school. Now I feel no need to explain why I was awoken because you are not as dense as Peter and I'm sure you have realised that it had something to do with your owl and it's completely unco-ordinated landings. 

Now James, there are times in my life I don't mind being awoken by owls. Should you ever been in mortal peril feel free to send your owl to drag me out of bed to save your sorry behind, even Quidditch practice is a legitement reason. But for future reference, Lily Evans psyche is **not** a good enough reason to drag me out of my dreams. 

But as the damage is done I will do you the curtesy of replying to your letter. First and foremost, I haven't the faintest idea why your 'angel' would waste her precious time being nice to you, and unless she is trying to deflate that huge ego of yours through reverse psychology (which I think would be good for you), I really don't care about it either. 

I will not deny that I did send a letter to the lovely red-haired angel, but do not jump to conclusions. My letter was not one of blackmail, but rather one of warning. I am not going to continually have the blame placed on me so that Lily can remain the Professors favorite little pet. 

And I too beg forgiveness in advance, because should you hurt me, I'm afraid I will have to return the favour. 

Yours sleepily 

  
Mister Padfoot. 


	7. our little secret

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's notes:** I'm absolutely stunned, I can not get over how many people reviewed!! You guys are the best, thank you so much for your feedback!! This chapter is Lily's reply to Sirius' letter. At first I was a bit skeptical about bringing Lily into it, that's why it's been so long since I updated (sorry) but now I've written it, I'm really glad I did. Anyway, enjoy. 

  
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_The Great Hall   
5th September, 1977, 7:54am _

  


  
Dear... actually scratch that, I hardly consider you dear Sirius, although as long as it does not raise your ego to some insufferable degree I will admit I find you the slightest bit more tolerable than James, but that may just be because you do not constantly ask me out. 

So perhaps I should explain why I am actually taking the time to reply to your letter because I highly doubt that you expected a reply, and if you did, you shouldn't have. You see it all started with Frank Longbottom whom I just happened to be talking to when your letter arrived, and as I considered him a good friend I let him read your warning (which he found hilarious). As a result of this move he begun to bug me about replying to you, saying 'go on, it will be funny'. 

I know I hardly have to tell you that this didn't phase me in the slightest, nor did it make me automatically want to write to you. 

You see Frank found it so funny that suddenly I had groups of people approaching me asking me to read the letter, and some of those people were prefects. Now Sirius your not dense, I know you can see my dilemma here. I will not deny that I pulled those pranks on the Snape and Malfoy, although before you run off to the professor's with my confession, please note that I am well aware of whom "decorated" the Professor's staff room earlier this year. 

Yes Sirius, I'm blackmailing you. Anyway on with the story. So I went to Frank and asked him to stop telling the other students, and he said he would, on one condition, and that, Sirius, was that I reply to you, but not just that, but in the same manner that you wrote to me. 

Now I had to think about this, and as it was I did have to blackmail you into keeping my secret anyway so the letter seemed like a reasonable idea. 

So why was everything so delayed? Well that is hardly my fault. Every time I sat down to reply to your letter, your twin would sit himself next to me. Now I'd prefer it if he continued to think that I was a little angel because he was not one of the culprits behind the staff rooms new design, and I'm sure he would be very willing to use this little piece of information against me in a number of ways. 

So if you'd refrain from telling him, I'll make sure that no one finds out our little secret. 

Oh by the way, I saw James the other day writing you a letter about how I was being nice to him, if you haven't realised already, I had to be pleasant just in case he had the same information that you do, which I'm now sure he does, but is not so willing to believe. 

So now that we have an understanding Sirius, I'm going to go and find something else to do. 

  
Miss Evans. 

P.S. Oh and Sirius, have you every considered seeing a psychiatrist, because if you didn't happen to know, Padfoot and you are the same person. 


	8. she's blackmailing ME!

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's notes:** Thank you everyone for your reviews, although know I'm getting used to the last letter I can't say that I like it as much as I do the others. Anyway while I consider reposting Lily's letter I thought I'd write the next letter - which I'm slightly happier with than the last chapter.... *sigh* 

  
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_Astronomy Tower   
5th September, 1977, 8:45am _

  


  
Dear Moony, 

Moony, I know this is going to be difficult for you to believe, because well, it's difficult for me to believe, but, Lily. Evans. is. blackmailing. **me**! She is actually blackmailing **ME**!! 

Perhaps I should explain how I got myself into this incredibly strange situation. You see it all started with the letters that James and I have been sending because the git left his mirror at home. After I worked out the culprit, behind the brilliant prank that resulted in two pink bunny rabbits, I sent her a letter of warning. Yes that's right Moony, Lily Evans pulled of a **prank** and a brilliant one at that. 

You see Moony there are some people in this world whom I will take the blame for, now if you had been the one to pull that prank I wouldn't have minded so much, because then at least the Marauders could claim the glory for - as much as I hate to admit it- such a awesome piece of foolery. But unless Lily Evans suddenly decides that she is going to marry James there is no way in this lifetime that I am going to take the blame for her work. 

Now, I'm not stupid. I did not expect a reply from the evil little witch, I mean she finds me "the slightest bit more tolerable than James" and even she said that's because I don't continually ask her out, so why on earth would she waste her valuable studying time to reply to me. 

Thus I just left it, and when no reply came I went on with my life knowing that everything was still right in the world. 

That was until I was awoken this morning by a tawny owl that was overly enthusiastic and didn't want to leave until I'd got up out of bed and read the whole damn thing. Moony you know I'm not a morning person, I love my sleep so why does everyone like to conspire against me. Why does everyone enjoy waking me up in the early hours of the morning? 

But I'm getting off track. So here I am, all alone, in Astronomy Tower which I might add needs a few more windows, knowing that the world has gone mad, and pondering what on earth I should do next. I do not like being blackmailed Moony, therefore, I am either going to have to find something to be one up on the woman, otherwise I'm going to have more detentions than I can count. 

So basically I'm in desperate need of your advice if you have any to spare. 

I've enclosed a copy of the letter from little miss green eyes (let me note that while she said NOT to send it to James she did *not* mention anything about NOT sending it to you!) 

Please reply quickly, you have to help me Moony! 

  
Padfoot. 


	9. if I didn't know better

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's notes:** I can't believe how long it's been since I updated!! I'm really sorry guys, I've got my end of year exams coming up and between school work and study I've had little time to do anything let alone update my fics. Better late then never though right! Thanks for everyone who has reviewed, I'm really glad that these letters are entertaining others as well as myself ;) Anyway I'll stop blabbing and let you get on and read Moony's reply :) 

  
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_The big room with all the books (otherwise known as a library)   
5th September, 1977, 8:13am _

  


  
Poor Padfoot, 

Sirius, if I did not know better I would not believe that five days into the school term you have already managed to get yourself into a situation such as this. Although as it is I do know better, which has led me to come to the conclusion that I have spent far to much time with you in the past five years. That, though, is my problem and this letter is meant to be focusing on yours. 

Personally I think you should just let her get away with the prank and even perhaps the blackmailing, because seeing Snape and Malfoy as pink rabbits was a memory that all the students of this school can treasure for the rest of their lives, but I have a feeling that your pride would be completely tainted if you were to let Evans get away with such a thing. 

So I went back to the letter to find another way for you to solve your problem, and I did. Sirius, she doesn't really know that we pulled off that prank. After reading in-between the lines of this rather insulting letter I found that she is calling a bluff in hope that you will write back giving away the fact that the Marauders did pull off the prank, thus giving her an important piece of blackmailing material which she will hold over us for the rest of our lives. 

Now Padfoot, before you rush off and write her a letter I am going to make a suggestion. Now I am not insulting your letter writing skills Sirius, but the best way that you can make the next move is by confronting her in person. You were always the actor of the group and I know you can convince her that we didn't 'redecorate' the staff room, and that you will not tell any of the professors that she is guilty on the condition that she does not blame any of her future foolery on us without our consent. 

Now go and do whatever you have to do then get yourself here because I know you haven't even started that potions assignment that is due today, and you know how much our potions professor loves you as it is. 

Your Friend, 

  
Moony 


	10. I need reassurance

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

  
**Author's notes:** Finally exams are over!!! YAY!! I'm so sorry about the wait. I have tried to get on and write a few chapters for my fics but I have honestly had no time. Thank you for everyone who's given me study tips - believe it or not, I've actually used some of your ideas! Anyway I'll stop talking and let you actually read the next letter. Don't forget to review ;) 

  
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_Where I can usually find you (the library)   
5th September 1977, about a minute past six pm. _

  


  
Dear thou whom holds the answers to all of life's questions (otherwise known as Mr Moony) 

I hope I'm not interrupting anything of importance because I find it unusual for you not to be located in the library and as I am well aware it is not that time of the month, I am extremely befuddled about your whereabouts. That aside, I will explain the reason that I am looking for you in the first place. 

Earlier this day I happened to view a strange and confusing occurrence that has had me worried for the most part of this day. You see this morning I could hear the wonderful sound of a certain angel laughing down in the common room, and as I am drawn to her very person I was compelled to find the cause of such a beautiful sound. 

Perhaps I am blowing things out of proportion, tell me that I am, but the reason for her laughter was because she was sharing a joke with my best friend, a one Mr S. Padfoot. 

Since when has Sirius and Lily shared jokes? Actually since when have Sirius and Lily been on good enough terms that they actually talk?! Moony please tell me that there is an explanation for all this and that I am wrong in thinking that my best friend has finally seen in Lily what I have all along... 

Moony... Where are you!!! I need reassurance, please Moony! 

your desperate friend, 

  
Prongs 


	11. you lovesick imbecile

**- Padfoot and Prongs - **

  
Author's notes: I decided seeing that I've made you wait so long for these chapters that I'd get as many as I can out tonight to make up for it. Honestly this one will probably the only other letter that I will write tonight because it's already late and I have a throat infection - why do these things wait till the holidays? It's as if they know that you would rather be anywhere but stuck at home sick - ahem anyway I'll try my best! 

  
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_The Three Broomsticks, Hogsmede   
5th September 1977, I have no idea what the time is now. _

  


  
Dear Prongs, 

First and foremost, **CALM DOWN** you lovesick imbecile! Sirius, I assure you, has **no** feelings for your so-called angel. Actually on the other hand I think Sirius is rather glad to not have to worry about her for a while. 

Now that your breathing again I will explain everything to you in words you will understand. Now you do remember the prank that was played on Snape and Malfoy, the one that insulted bunny rabbits everywhere? You'd be mad to have forgotten! Now if you remember correctly Sirius was accusing 'your' 'angel' of being the mastermind behind that piece of foolery, and furthermore that he sent her a letter of warning. 

Jogged your memory has it? Anyway, Lily replied to Sirius' letter admitting that she pulled the prank and then attempted to blackmail Sirius. Yes, you heard... erm - read correctly, and yes, I know it's hard to believe but if you had read the letter that I received from a very scared Sirius... sorry I'm getting off-track. 

Anyway Sirius' letter asked me for advice and I told him that he should use his charming personality to get him... no... all of us out of this mess, and that's exactly what you viewed this morning. 

Now concerning my whereabouts. I am currently enjoying a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks with Misters Padfoot and Wormtail. We are celebrating Mr Padfoot's success in convincing Lily that everything was even and it saved all of us from a years, perhaps more, worth of detentions. If you care to join us I'm sure that Sirius will be kind enough to convince you further that he has absolutely no feelings for Miss Lily Evans. 

Come on James - you need to get over this girl, it's becoming ridiculous! 

Your friend, 

  
Moony. 

P.S. Sirius has told me to warn you that as soon as you grace us with your presence he will have to hurt you - "Me...Me like Lily? That is disgusting!" 


	12. you haven't the slightest clue

**- Padfoot and Prongs - **

  
Author's Notes: Sorry I haven't updated for a while. I've been extremely busy with work, which sucks. Once again a big thanks to everyone who's reviewed. You guys are the best! Anyway I'll stop wasting your time and let you get on with the story. Enjoy. 

  
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_On the other side of McGonagall's classroom   
11th September 1977, five minutes and 36 seconds past two o'clock _

  


  
Dearest Prongs, 

I do believe that our beloved head of house has finally outdone herself. 

I'm quite aware that you haven't the slightest clue to what I am referring too as you have been concentrating your attention on the back of Miss Evan's head insted of on your fellow marauders whom have **all** spent the last thirty five minutes and fifty four seconds trying to get your attention by waving frantically in the air, randomly calling out your name, and throwing things at you whenever our transfiguration professor turns her back. 

So now that I have gained your undivided attention, and succesfully embarrased you, I'm going to tell you how our dear Professor McGonagall has shown that she honestly cares about us. 

James, if you had been doing more constructive things with your time, rather than staring into the red waves that are connected to Lily's head, you would know by now that McGonagall has created invisible barriers between Mr Mooney, Mr Wormtail, you, and myself. 

So how did I get my owl to you? Well once again I will comment on your lack of attention, because the owl didn't come from your right, where I am seated, but from your left, through the convinently placed hole in the wall. 

You see while McGonagall has stopped all pranks for at least one lesson - we will have to discuss ways to get around these barriers over dinner tonight - she has not completely shut off our means of communication. 

Now, as you have been ignoring your fellow Marauders you have missed out on half of the words that have been flying around the classroom. As a result of your lack of interest in us I have been asked to include two messages from Misters Moony and Wormtail. I do hope you learn something from these messages because your being extremely daft. 

Your fellow Marauder 

  
Mr S. Padfoot. 

  


  


From Mr R. Moony:  
James, I thought Sirius was supposed to be the pathetic one when it came to women. Have you not figured out yet that she does not like you staring at the back of head as though you can read her thoughts. Yes James, she knows your watching her - and it's driving her absolutely insane. You absolute prat. You, who has used windows when peering around corners, trying to avoid certain professors, should know better than anyone that windows have reflection showing abilities. 

She can see you James, so stop "gazing lovingly" at her and pay more attention to your fellow Marauders, if not your professor. NEWTS are just around the corner, and how would you feel if Miss Evans just happened to beat you... 

  


  


From Mr P. Wormtail:  
James, can you please stop staring at Lily and save me! Malfoy is going to kill me! I mean, this is it, I'm going to die! Sirius just told me to stop worrying because he won't do anything in class, but I can't. Please James... SAVE ME! 


	13. unfortunately for you

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**   
  
**Author's Notes:** It's been so very long since I've updated! So much has happened in the last six months that I've had hardly any time to do that which I love most : write.

* * *

_The same classroom in which you are present.   
11th September 1977, twelve minutes and 23 seconds past two o'clock._

To all three of my fellow marauders, 

I must say I find it rather interesting that you left it to the last half an hour to find a way to alert me to the fact that Miss Evans was well aware of what I was doing. 

It is very unfortunate for you that I am certain that the reason for this lies in your twisted senses of humor. I will admit that I often result in laughter by watching others being humiliated but what ever happened to honour amongst theives! 

I am very ashamed of all of you, and I must warn you that this shame may lead to drastic measures on my part which, I do understand, will make me a hypocryte, but none-the-less you must, in the words of McGonagall, be taught a lesson. 

Speaking of McGonagall, I must agree padfoot, she really has outdone herself this time. Although we should probably warn her that she will have to think of another way to keep us behaving because by next lesson we should be well practiced in the spells that will remove these barriers. 

Lastly, Peter, Calm down! Sirius is right, Malfoy is not dense enough to attempt to hurt you during the lesson. 

Your faithful friend, 

Mr Prongs


	14. This was your stupid idea

**- Padfoot and Prongs -**

**Author's Notes**: Sorry it's taken so long, enjoy.

* * *

_The Tower that desperately needs more windows._

_17th September 1977, 20:56._

_Mr J. Prongs,_

_More than once I have questioned your intelligence on matters regarding Miss Evans, but never before have I been so convinced that you have gone completely insane. If you think that Master Padfoot and I are going to be sympathetic to your cause because you have actually been given the opportunity to spend time with your 'angel' (as Sirius so rightly points out, is anything but) then you will be sorely mistaken._

_Perhaps I should explain my current situation to you. I, along with Mister Padfoot, am currently located in Astronomy tower. We are unable to breathe and have been made to polish every crystal ball that the old "future-seeing dingbat" owns, which for the points sake is four hundred and twenty three separate round glass balls. _

_This situation, as you are already aware, arose out of your brilliant idea to, to quote you directly, "blast through the wards that McGonagall put up". I don't need to remind you of the absolute mayhem caused by the curses flying around the classroom, or the one that happened to hit Miss Lily Evans giving you the perfect opportunity to be the hero. Although, as it seems that you have forgotten I do need to remind you that as Padfoot has already pointed out, "THIS WAS YOUR STUPID IDEA, YOU SHOULD BE HERE YOU PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR A MARAUDER!"_

_Now for more our sakes than yours we are giving you thirty minutes to turn yourself in and join us in our dreary task before we send a letter to Miss Evans giving the details about exactly whose curse slammed into her during her second favourite subject._

_I do not enjoy blackmailing people Prongs, but if you are not up here in now twenty-nine minutes I will be forced to lower myself to both Sirius' and your level._

_Your FAITHFUL marauder_

_Mr R. Moony_


	15. I would not mind calling you a friend

- Padfoot and Prongs -

Author's Notes: I don't know what to say apart from: Sorry it has taken such a long time and, enjoy.

* * *

_The Gryffindor Girls Dormitories,_

_20th September 1977, 9:55am_

_To Mr J. Potter,_

_I am still baffled at how easily I was roped into this letter writing fad that was started by your dearest friend, but here I am, for a reason I cannot grasp, writing a letter to the one person that has made it his mission to annoy me since our first year at this amazing school._

_Please, for Merlin's sake, do not let this letter inflate your ego more so, as the reason I am writing it is because I cannot stand to be in your presence long enough for me to explain what I need to say. _

_To the point, I would like to say thankyou. Although I am aware that you were part of the cause of the curses that flew around the Transfiguration classroom three days ago, I do appreciate that you chose to help clean up the mess that you made and helped me. On that note, I want to make it clear that I have **NOT** fallen head over heals in love with you, but if you and your friends are willing, (please don't make me regret this),_

_I would not mind calling you a friend…_

_I must stress that this does not mean I want to go out with you, nor does it mean that I want to become a marauder, but I am prepared to put you on probation and see how it goes. Please take into account that this will not last if you continue to ask me out over and over again. Nor will it if you continue to hang Snape upside down by his foot… Yes I know I turned him into a rabbit, and I am aware that I am being hypocritical in making this a condition, but the constant humiliation that you put him through is unkind, and it is time you all grew up._

_Anyway I suppose there is not much left to say,_

_I presume I will get some sort of reply via owl?_

_Always,_

_Lily Evans_


	16. You will not believe this

- Padfoot and Prongs -

Author's Notes: I'd love to know what you think!

* * *

_Approximately 30 feet above the Hogwarts Quidditch Field,_

_20th September 1977, 11:20am_

_Padfoot!_

_You will not believe this. Aside from the fact that I am writing to you while sitting on a broom way above the ground, yes I know it's a stupid and dangerous thing to perform, but as I said before you. Will. **Not**. Believe. This! _

_I have just received a letter from Lily. Yes I know that is believable, only slightly, but yes it one of those things that is possible in this life. What is unimaginable though is what the letter has asked of me. Right, are you ready… you might want to sit down for this…_

_Lily Evans has asked if we could be friends…_

_I do not believe I have been so happy in my life! I mean she is quite clear that it is ONLY friends, but it is a start is it not! Finally I will be able to talk to her, to find out about the person she really is, and maybe, just maybe she will fall in love with me when she finds out who I really am! _

_Maybe she will be able to see past 'James the git' and see 'James the Headboy', 'James the Quidditch Seeker' and 'James the true friend'. Padfoot it is the most amazing feeling! It's as though I finally have a chance, and it is all because of McGonagall! Merlin, I could kiss you for discovering her evil plan, if it we're not for those wards!_

_It even makes cleaning the old dingbats crystal orbs wirth it!_

_Your's Happily_

_Prongs_


	17. Have you gone mad?

- Padfoot and Prongs -

Author's Notes:)

* * *

_Standing on the large green field searching for a mentally insane friend,_

_20th September 1977, 12:06pm_

_James,_

_HAVE YOU GONE MAD! Not even I, I who has a mother and father who belong in the insanity ward of St Mungos would sit on my broom way above Hogwarts highest tower while trying to scribe a sickeningly 'lovey dovey' letter to my best friend. _

_Ok, Lily wants to be your friend... Yes I will agree it's a miracle to say the least, but for Merlin's sake Prongs, you need to be alive for her to see the 'real you' as you so described in your letter. I really don't think Lily will be attracted to whatever is left of your corpse when you plummet to your death from all the way up there!_

_So in the words of your mother "JAMES HAROLD POTTER, GET DOWN HERE THIS INSTANCE!"_

_If you don't I'll show Lily this sickening letter. _

_Oh and if you even try to kiss me as you suggested in your letter, I will beat you to a pulp._

_Your worried friend,_

_Sirius_


	18. We have a problem

- Padfoot and Prongs -

Author's Notes: 3 chapters in one day! I hope that makes up for my absence…

* * *

_Standing on the large green field searching for a mentally insane friend,_

_20th September 1977, 12:10pm_

_To skip all introductions, we have a problem. Moony I have never been so at loss with what to do, it has finally happened, James Potter has gone mad._

_I do not think I even need to explain the cause of this madness. It is the same thing that has been slowly turning him away from sanity all these years. Lily Evans. So what made him cross the line? For some strange reason, unknown to me, she has decided to let us, in particular, him, be her friend._

_Of course this is not a bad thing, it is about time that their constant bickering came to an end and even I can admit over the past few weeks I have gained newfound respect for Lily Evans (yes, it was the bunny incident, I will keep that memory close to my heart for years to come), but James is taking this too far. Enclosed you will find the letter that he sent me, the one that, I will point out, he wrote while suspended 30 feet in the air. _

_This is uncharacteristically James. Although I will make you swear never to repeat this, James has far too much common sense to do something as stupid as that without the "love sickness" that has seemed to have overwhelmed him. Honestly Moony, that is something that I would do in normality, and if that does not say something to you, then you do not know me as well as you say you do._

_So what are we to do? I have already taken the first step – getting him down on solid ground. But then what? Should I write to Lily and beg for my friends sanity, should I try and crush my best mates very soul with rumours and lies in hope that it would save what is left of his wisdom? Moony in the words of Wormtail when Wikipin appeared catching us in unawares in the middle of a prank – "We are Screwed" or more specifically "James is Screwed" or at least, he has a few screws loose._

_So Master of everything knowledgeable… what is the next move in this gigantic game called growing up?_

_Impatiently awaiting your reply_

_Mr S. Padfoot._


	19. Somewhat of an emergency

- Padfoot and Prongs -

Author's Notes: I am really happy with this letter, it has taken a while to get back into this story but I'm glad that it is finally on the way again. Thanks to everyone who has stuck around so long!

* * *

_Flitwick's Charms Classroom, the place where both of you should currently be,_

_20th September 1977, 12:30pm_

_Dearest Padfoot,_

_For future reference, next time you decide to send this gigantic black owl, please consider the timetable that we generally follow on a Wednesday afternoon, as Flitwick was not very appreciative when your bird knocked him off his stack of books and caused the charm he was casting to ricochet of course and hit Mr Diggory square in the chest._

_So now while Flitwick glares at the side of my head and Mr Diggory shouts in a language I can not comprehend but I believe to be Impish, I am pretending to completely ignore the bird that is perched on my desk and have become completely consumed by writing this reply._

_Padfoot, you are damn lucky that this is somewhat of an emergency and you are obviously not thinking straight, otherwise I would convince Lily to send you to a weeks worth of detentions with Filch cleaning every toilet in the school._

_Although apparently due to James lack of sanity, I do not get that satisfaction. So as soon as I send this letter I will be escaping this class and running to the quidditch field where you undoubtedly are still trying to comprehend our fellow Marauders sudden change. _

_To answer your questions, I really don't think you should do any of those things. If James continues down the road he is following I can guarantee to you that it will not be long before Lily Evan's sets him straight. Actually I am quite surprised that she wasn't clearer in her letter. Although I will admit that it is important that we keep James from doing anything too stupid – like writing letters while floating on cloud nine, way above a safe distance from the ground._

_I will also suggest that you tell James to tone it down a little other wise Lily will not put up with him for long. All that said, we will not be able to do very much Padfoot, because as much as we hate to admit it this is long past a crush on one of the many beautiful girls in Hogwarts…_

**_James Harold Potter is head over heels in Love._**

_And it would do us all good to accept this and stand by James as much as we can, because if James is as determined about this as he has been about everything else in his life, I can assure you my dear Padfoot, James will be engaged to this girl by the time we finish Hogwarts._

_Your fellow Marauder_

_Moony._


End file.
